The last thing you want to do is sometimes exactly what you should do.

When you’re facing the blank page, it can feel like you’re pushing a boulder made of knives up a glacier. It’s the easiest thing in the world to walk away and try again another day. Sometimes that’s right. Sometimes you’re beaten and battered and need to regroup.

But most times you need to push that fucking boulder with all your might.

The only way things get done is by doing them. It sounds trite. It is trite. But it’s also true. We can wax poetic about…


I worried that my parents would kill each other.

It went like this growing up: Mom and Dad would go through the permutations of working class life — work long hours, fend for the family at home, attend to chores, routines, and carve out some time for relaxation. They made minimal effort when it came to my brother’s and my interests. But this wasn’t their fault. They were too tired and bewildered to try and understand us. They were dutiful in making sure we were cared for. That we had a roof above our heads, food on our plates, and…


We’ve all been there.

There’s creative work to do, and you really don’t want to fucking do it.

Why?

Why not?

It seems like everything you do gets lost in the deluge of noise that is our age. No matter what, no one seems to notice how hard you try to share your visions and perspective.

It seems pointless.

It’s not.

I know: why bother if no one is going to see your work?

Because you’re not doing it for them.

You’re doing it for you.

Good work comes through perseverance. It comes from showing up, time and again. That…


The point is simple: anything worth doing takes time.

That means that you gotta stop beating yourself up for not accomplishing big things right away.

A big aspect of being hard on yourself is expecting to complete major projects in one fell swoop.

But things don’t work that way.

Whatever you’re doing:

Writing a book.

Running a marathon.

Building a castle to trap a princess in.

It happens with little steps. You have to move step by step, page by page, to your goal. …


[Soprano’s Series Spoilers]

There has been endless debate over whether or not Tony Soprano was killed at the end of HBO’s The Sopranos. He very likely was. However it hit me that I don’t think that’s the point of the ending.

Let’s backtrack for a moment.

A recurring theme throughout the series is that life is all a big nothing. This point is especially reiterated by Tony and his mother Livia.

However the objective reality of the series completely negates this premise.

How so?

Christopher and Tony’s NDEs.

Paulie seeing the Virgin Mary at the Bing.

Adrianna reincarnating into a…


You’re Gonna Fall

The elephant in the room is squatting in the house.

It’s something most people don’t like to talk about.

And rightfully so. Who wants to accept that the deck is stacked against them, or that their success is purely based on the fact that they were eased in -

Financially, socially, culturally.

The elephant is named nepotism, and it’s shitting over all of us.

Even those it benefits.

It is what it is. This ain’t a rant against anyone whose career was launched on the wings of some golden mound of poop. …


It’s a monster you cannot see.

Seeping through the crevices of your life to invade your senses and corrupt your sensibilities. It molds its corrupted form over your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and contorts them into lies you cannot help but believe.

That’s how depression works. That’s what’s so insidious about it. It comes as poison cloaked as truth. It likens itself to wisdom, when in reality it’s a blanket made from knives. There’s no truth or comfort in its machinations. Only a prison of pain.

Of course try recognizing this when you’re tangled in depression’s thorns.

But that’s exactly…


It’s not selfish.

It’s not being pretentious.

It’s just the truth.

If you’re creating something, you need your own space.

There’s only so much you can do surrounded by the noise and needs of your loved ones. Be it in your home, office, or general public, there’s a lot that can distract you from getting in the right mindset to create. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to work this way. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. But ideally you need a place — mental of physical — that you can call your own and get shit done.

It…


Stars stitched into endless fabrics

Collide in pirouettes of reunion

Beings glimmering eternal and profound

Resound as one throughout constant halls

From their merging erupts

The formless truth of all…


There’s an endless cavalcade of advice regarding how you should live your life.

Philosophies, theologies, guidebooks espoused by gurus ancient and current, meant to dictate who you’re supposed to be.

I’m not here to tell ya that any of them are right or wrong.

What I am here to say is that you’re here to be you.

What do I mean?

Well.

Beyond the basic tenants of human decency — being kind, empathetic, caring about your fellow human being, etc. — many ideologies branch off into territories that they shouldn’t. …

Giovanni Diaz

Writer from NYC. Thoughts of a Dumb-Dumb.

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